Jesus' General

DEAR MISTER ROMNEY, I really appreciate your steadfast commitment to your faith. I've heard people choose these types of ideologies because it grounds a person in morality and integrity and human values. And of course I can admire that. With all the hate- and fear-mongering filling the public square today, I welcome men of your caliber.

I only have a small question. Given that a central tenet of Mormonism is that the Indians of the Americas are descended from the Lost Tribes of Israel, how do you reconcile your current anti-immigrant stance with the fact that Mexicans are descended, too, from these same people? How do your actions fit into the theological framework now that you are the one trying to stop them from wandering?

and furthermore—

DALLAS - Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney is Mexican on his father’s side, reports Diario La Estrella. George Romney was born in Galeana in the Mexican state of Chihuahua in 1907. The history of Mormons in Utah and Mexico is inextricably linked, Diario La Estrella reports. In the 1880s, when Utah was petitioning to be a U.S. state, polygamy was practiced by some Mormons there, which went against American law. Those ...   more »

Jesus' General

I see a screenplay blooming. Dealing with a favorite theme: time travel. You now think you'll steal this zeitgeisty gem from me, but you cannot because in the future, I have already finished it, and am mailing it to myself yesterday in a walnut sealed in Presidential earwax and pressurized to resist even election-year terror alerts.

OUR TALE BEGINS with a man who desperately seeks an answer to his deepest, heart-sprung questions, headed up by the quintessential and Googlicious How Do I Get Rid of the Mexicans? You see, our protagonist feels his very nation is under dire attack by the filthy mongrel hordes from the South, those who bark that most Arrogant and Sickening of Languages—Español, those who dare to settle into his beautiful nation, hellbent on storming the kitchens and fields and meatpacking plants and canning plants and steel factories or to otherwise seek to implement that most foul of Mexican behaviors: the trading of work for pay.

Let's call our protagonist "Greebey." Let's call him "Greebey Vather." Let's pronounce that "Vay-thur." Let's make his middle initial "N" and then let's give him two rags in his back pockets, one on each side. One is ...   more »

The Rude Pundit

End of the Year Haiku:
At the ass end of a truly awful year for this America, the Rude Pundit offers a few of those delicate Japanese poems, deflowered like Jamie Lynn Spears after a cough syrup bender:

Democratsy
Pelosi and Reid
Cowered like emo singers
With bleeding hem'rrhoids.

The Cold Jail Cell Sits Empty
Karl Rove slithered home.
Scooter Libby skated free.
Cheney smirked slyly.

Worst Year So Far, Part 1: The View from the White House
One can only be
Commander-in-chief atop
A stack of corpses.

Worst Year So Far, Part 2: The View from Iraq
The last one to die,
The last lit match, will just be
The last one to die.

Worst Year So Far, Part 3: The View from the Homeland
Rats at Walter Reed
At least have homes and lower
Rates of suicide.

More haiku later.

And feel free to toss in your own three line creations. Send 'em to the usual: rudepundit[at]yahoo[dot]com. The Rude Pundit will post the best ones tomorrow.

URL: The Rude Pundit

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Daily New Yorker cartoon

URL: Daily New Yorker cartoon

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Jesus' General

New Years Eve

Please join me at the best New Years Eve Party held on a roof next to a Spermatazoan-American liberation and housing named after Mike Huckabee anywhere.
Cafe Wellstone in Second Life.

*Wednesday, Jan 2

2pm
Dancing at Etopia Eco-Village
Etopia Eco-Village

6pm
Live Music Night!
Joaquin Gustav is playing incomparable tango guitar direct form Buenos Aires, Argentina. Set yourself up with a fruity drink with umbrella...you'll feel warmer and mellower listening to him.
The Lonely Yak Roadhouse

*Thursday, Jan. 3

6pm
George Lakoff, Glenn Smith and Eric Haas all of the Rockridge Institute will be guests of Virtually Speaking in Second Life on Thursday Jan. 3 at 6 p.m. The dicussion will focus on National Health Care, and how that issue can be framed.
The panel discussion will be followed by an informal groups conversation about the early results from the Iowa Caucuses.
InWorld Studios

*Friday, Jan. 4

6pm
Dancing Liberally at the Beach
Join us at Tanna's Winter Home as we dance to Mike Huckabee's new hymn about the immorality of the sperm whale (yes, it's Mike Huckabee sperm joke week at the General's place).
Tanna's Winter Home


*Saturday , Jan. 5

8 ...   more »

Jesus' General

Guiliani surrogate John Deady:

I don't subscribe to the principle that there are good Muslims and bad Muslims. They're all Muslims.

and:

We need to keep the feet to the fire and keep pressing these people until we defeat or chase them back to their caves or in other words get rid of them.

Former Bosnian Serb leader Radovan Karadzic:

They [Muslims of Bosnia] will disappear, these people will disappear from the face of the earth.

and:

Within a few days there will be no Sarajevo...within a month the Muslims of Bosnia-Herzegovina will be destroyed!

URL: Jesus' General

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