Lying Leeza claimed Sunday that Bush was doing everything he can to keep the troops safe. Oops. Nothing has been done to speed up production of body armor or up armored hum-vees, even after it was brought to his attention that the items could be manufactured more quickly.

 

President George W. Bush, speaking from the campaign trail, has once again assured voters that Troops in Iraq will get all the equipment and supplies they need to "finish the job". Speaking to a carefully screened crowd who were forced to sign loyalty oaths and pledge to die for their Commander in Chief, Mr. Bush said, " I was in the military so I know what our boys need and I'll make sure they get it. They need ice for their drinks, good dental care, cool looking uniforms and maybe a hit or two of coke."

Flashing his trademark smirk, Mr. Bush continued, "That's what got me through my service to my country. John Kerry says our troops need ammunition, body armor and water. Hell, I never needed any of that stuff and I spent almost a whole eight months flying missions, keeping the skies over Texas free of those evil North Vietnamese thugs.

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